Single, smart, over 40 - and frustrated

Written By Unknown on Senin, 01 April 2013 | 04.29

Eligible: Tanya Durham, Nicki Williams and Kerryn Lambert agree that the over-40s dating scene is dismal. PICTURE: Will Russell Source: PerthNow

THEY'RE single, smart and successful, but these over-40 Perth women can't find a decent man.

East Perth hairdresser Tanya Durham, 46, says she's been on so many dud dates she's stopped trying.

And events manager Kerryn Lambert was stood up on Monday night after waiting 45 minutes at a bar for a date to show up. To make it worse, it was the eve of her 40th birthday.

Ms Durham, who has never married, said being in her mid-40s limited the range of eligible men.

"I don't mind going out with younger guys, but they want children, so that market is out, and a lot of guys over 40 are going for girls under-30, because they don't think they're 40," she said.

Part of the problem was that men didn't want independent women.

"We're looking for guys because we want to have them in our life, not because we need to have them," she said. "But there are a lot of guys who want to feel needed. And they're the guys that we won't possibly attract."

Most men who registered for online dating websites were creeps, she said.

"One guy had a 10-year-old photo of himself on his online profile. When I met up with him, he was morbidly obese," she said. Ms Lambert said online dating had given men too much choice.

"It's just one big, easy fishing pond," she said.

Public relations professional Nicki Williams, 45, said there was definitely a shortage of eligible men in their 40s and 50s in Perth.

"If you're serious about settling down with someone, you're not looking at the 35-year-olds for long-term prospects. You're looking at somebody who is more settled and has possibly been married, so they're in the same situation as you," the twice-married mother of two said.

"If you want to settle down, it needs to be with someone over 40 and there aren't that many of them out there."

Ms Williams said that though she'd love to meet someone, she didn't need a man to provide for her because she was financially stable.

"I don't want to end up old and alone, but I'm not desperate and dateless, so to speak," she said.

Debbie Rivers, who runs Dare to Date, which organises social events for singles, said it was a challenge to get men over 40 to attend her events.They were often hurt by previous relationships and unwilling to give anything a go.


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