2016 presidential race hots up Source: Supplied
IT'S not only Ted Cruz who's thrown his hat in the ring for the 2016 presidential race.
There are almost 200 other candidates already campaigning hard.
You probably won't have heard of any of them, but these idealists all believe they'd make a better job of leading the United States than the guys we've seen so far.
Here are some of the standouts.
A candidate openly admitting to being an a**hole. Source: Supplied
The mysterious Syd, from Buffalo, New York, is hoping to go from bottom to the very top, and already has a website complete with an outline of "Buttology".
It states: "Please vote for Sydney's Butt to be the president. After all, every politician is an a**hole so what's the difference?"
Sydney's unusual campaign video opens with the words: "Republicans and Democrats love war", which is followed by a montage of stills from the battlefield, to the tune of Simon & Garfunkel's Sound of Silence. It concludes with the text: "Break the cycle. Vote for Sydney's Buttocks for President 2k16".
In an update last month, the independent candidate noted: "Hopefully they do not take my unconventional name as a joke and I am accepted unto the ballot."
The Federal Electoral Commission made no issue over the name, and Sydney is now cheerfully exercising his/her/its democratic rights.
Joy believes she is a woman of the people. Source: Facebook
JOY WAYMIRE
Joy's candidacy is supported by her well-rounded work experience, "covering many aspects of life in the United States." She has been a ranch foreman, spiritual visionary, ballerina, musician, costume designer, maker of macramé wall hangings and electronic technician. Her writing has been published on Unexplained Mysteries under the pen name Eliyyahu.
Joy, from Tulelake, California, has many admirable aims. She intends to remove corruption in government, cut the salaries and perks of grossly overpaid elected officials and give individuals more freedom of choice.
She is vice president of the US Parliament coalition, which wants to see incentives for implementing organic food and pure water. Joy admits to being "eccentric, yet very wise and patient. A 'Jill of All, Master of None.'"
She adds: "It is not government's place to mandate the morality, marriage, personal choices, medical care, etc. of its citizens. Government's job is to protect the Nation and its citizens PERIOD; Nothing more, nothing less. It is time government was put in its place instead of allowing the two-party game to continue over and over until there is nothing left for the people."
Rickey believes that political system doesn't want an average man in the mix. Source: Supplied
AVERAGE JOE
Rickey Joe Story ran as a Republican in 2012, paying to get his name at the top of the New Hampshire primary ballot, but only got 42 votes to Mitt Romney's 97,591, and raised just $200 for his campaign.
He says he was the victim of blatant discrimination by the party, and that the political system doesn't want to let an average person into the club. This time, he's running as an independent in Jacksonville, Florida.
Joe models himself on George Washington, a "Counselor President" who didn't need coercion or laws to accomplish his objectives. He believes that if America aligns itself with Christianity and moral values, it will achieve order, harmony and social stability.
This Average Joe is placing his faith in God for a win, and asks that supporters refrain from wasting money on media outlets, instead donating their cash to widows, orphans and children.
Mary has sued numerous famous figures for appropriating her property. Source: Supplied
MARY AKU QUARTEY
Mary, from Gaithersburg, Maryland, is a voracious litigator. She unsuccessfully sued her employer. the postal service, in 2005 for using her brain cells to invent internet and satellite communications. She claimed she had been cheated out of billions of dollars by the FBI and the press.
The self-described "world predictor" has also sued notable figures including Barack and Michelle Obama, Bill Clinton, Condoleezza Rice, Mitt Romney, Chief Justice John Roberts and Martin Luther King Jr. Last year, she alleged that the Obamas had claimed ownership of her body parts, medical files, biological children, property and wealth in the "trillions".
Mary, who is running for the Democratic Party, requested $200 million from the courts to fund her relocation and preparation for the naming ceremony of a statue in Ghana-Accra, which would prevent an assassination plot against her.
Kenn has published a book of his best quotes. Source: YouTube
KENN GIVENDEN
People call Kenn a white racist, but he says that isn't right, he's just "into being real."
His website, Daily Kenn, goes into some details on what racism really means, and includes a section called "Black history they don't want you to know", which claims that beating of black slaves in the South was uncommon, and that slavery would not have existed without black slave owners. He also states that "virtually everything you see is either the product of nature or white innovation."
Kenn, of the American Freedom Party, has made understanding his philosophies easy with a list of "Kenn's Laws". They include: "We think God thinks what we think we think he should think" and "Urban blight follows white flight."
He has expanded on this with his recently published book: Kennisms: Quotes by Kenn Gividen, which he warns could well offend as well as delight readers. He is indeed likely to divide fans with quotes that range from, "If I had a hammer, I wouldn't have a computer" to, "The sun rises in the West to those who view the world upside down."
But before you complain, see Kenn's Law #31: "For every Kenn's Law there is at least one person who thought he/she thought of it first."
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