Holy cow it’s a world record

The world record for dairy bull semen production is held by the now-deceased US Holstein bull Jenny-Lou Mrshl Toystory. He had 2.4 million "doses" of semen collected from him and has an estimated 500,000 daughters worldwide. Picture: EILEEN DEBRUIN AGRI-GRAPHICS Source: Supplied

TOYSTORY was a hulking 1200kg black and white beast with an ornery temperament and more than 500,000 kids.

The Holstein bull died in December, followed by a touching burial.

Toystory - or Jenny-Lou Mrshl Toystory-ET to his friends - was one of 70 siblings from his own mother Toyane.

The virile and prolific beast left behind more than 500,000 daughters in 50 countries.

And one of those sold for $300,000.

His world was one of inter-species masturbation and artificial insemination.

Through that process, he produced 2.4 million doses of semen, or enough to inseminate 2.4 million cows. He produced more than 1 litre of the stuff in his nine years plying his trade from 2005 ro 2014.

The mother of Toystory, and all-round great cow, Jenny-Lou Patron Toyane. She could never have dreamed her son would be such a successful man-whore. Picture: KATHY DEBRUIN AGRI_GRAPHICS Source: Supplied

With up to 12 billion sperm per collection, it meant for a lot of little swimmy things.

Genex Cooperative purchased the bull for $4000 at six months of age and a dose of his semen sold for upwards of $60.

The company has remaned the building he was housed in the "Toystory Campus" and vice president of production for the company, Glen Gilbert spoke glowing of the beefy love machine.

"The old adage was as long as he was interested in sex, he wasn't interested in you," he told the Wall Street Journal.

"But if he lost that other interest, you had to be careful." said

"He was very fertile also and he enjoyed his work," according to the Fench Post website.

"He had very good libido. He would come to our collection arena very eager.

"He was very athletic."

The promotional poster produced to celebrate the two millionth dose of Toystory semen. Oh how we cheered. Source: Supplied

Among all bulls in the world, no matter the race, colour or creed, he is the semen king.

There have been less than 50 sires in the exclusive "millionaire's club" - as it is known in the industry - and Toystory smashed the record of previous bovine sperm donor king Skalsummer Sunnyboy, who produced 1.7 doses in the 1990s.

Toystory has been written up in the august non-bull-related journals of record The Times of London and the Wall Street Journal as well as the UK's Daily Mail.

And he has his own Wikipedia entry - but it is only in German, of course.
As well as ornery - the WSJ reported one veterinarian as saying he was "meaner than a snake" - Toystory was a little horny.

Mystic Valley dairy in Wisconsin is where the super virile Toystory was born. It is sure to become a pilgrimage destination for bull semen enthusiasts. Source: Supplied

He was "collected" up to nine times a week which was double the average for his stable mates.

Mitch Breunig from Mystic Valley Dairy at Sauk City in Wisconsin bred Toystory and named the bull after his daughter's favourite movie.

''For most farms that sell bulls it is right up there,'' he said, ''Having so many people purchase this bull for their herds is humbling.

"People have come from all around the world to see our farm.

"I can go around the world and say Toystory and you have instant credibility with people. It is cool.

''It was the first bull our family every sold to AI so that is remarkable. We will never match this feat.

"I was pretty sad (when he died)."

Dutch Holstein bull Skalsumer Sunny Boy was the semen king until Toystory blew him out of the water. Source: Supplied

While Genex says Toystory had become a household name within the dairy industry regular people probably don't put too much thought into bulls and their prodigious semen production.

What generally happens is the bull is lead into the collection area where a ''teaser'' animal is tied or held in a secure 'crush'.

As bulls don't have the same socialisation as humans, homosexuality is encouraged and the teaser animal is usually a male.

A male is used so as to cancel out the chance of that valuable semen being accidentally "lost".

Then as the bull ''mounts'' the teaser, a man who perhaps has one of the bizarrest jobs in the world slips a fake vagina on his schlong to capture the moment of passion.

According to a paper by the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations associate

professional officer H. Schuh the average sperm production of a bull ranges between 3.6 and 12 x 109 sperm per ejaculation.

When the semen is frozen - which most semen used by dairy farmers is - about 20 million total sperm per ''dose'' are required.

That means about 180 to 600 doses of frozen semen per ejaculate.

It is then shipped around the world.

But what does one do when a bull becomes a world record producer of sperm?

''Hats and T-shirts were made to celebrate Toystory's feats,'' Genex said.

"In addition celebration activities were held to thank the employees who care for Toystory daily as well as those who process and distribute Toystory genetics. Yes, a few commemorative semen straws were printed."

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