Subsisting on finger food from work functions is oddly unsatisfying. Source: Getty Images
Of course, some places are worse than others (COUGH, Sydney, COUGH), but typically by the time you hand over your pay every month to your landlord, all you're left with is monopoly money.
This is precisely the awkward moment when your complete lack of budgeting rears its ugly head. Before you know it, it's the next rent cycle and you are, yet again, scraping coins together.
Long gone is that one solid, blissful week of food delivery when you actually had enough cushion in the bank to splurge a little bit.
Unfortunately, your habits have caught up with and you're basically broke. So what do you do when payday is still two weeks away?
1. You go to company events just for the free food
Sure, you may be on a hardcore diet, but the moment your rent is due and you've got single digits for an account balance, "Free Pizza Friday" seems like an all-too-tantalising option. You need to take advantage of the free food when you get it. And don't be afraid to overeat because this might just be your dinner too.
2. The only coffee you will be ingesting is the sh*tty office kind
Hmm ... instant coffee. Yum. Source: Getty Images
Say goodbye to your barista habit because ain't nobody got time for a $4 cup of coffee when you're ballin' on a budget. Instead you will survive on the coffee in your office, even though you're highly suspicious it doesn't really contain any caffeine whatsoever.
3. You go home to your parents' house for free meals
They think you just miss them, but if we're being honest, you're beyond broke and haven't eaten dinner in three days. Pro tip: Don't tell them that unless you feel like getting a lecture.
4. You eat your co-workers' leftovers
You don't even have to ask, your co-workers know exactly what to do with their leftovers: put them right on your desk. Extra points if they know to leave in the fork.
5. You tell people you don't know that it's your birthday so they buy you things
Hey! You over there! Come buy me lunch, it's my birthday … just so you know.
"So, it's not really my birthday but thanks for the cake all the same." Source: Getty Images
6. You pretend you forget your wallet so people buy you stuff
You know you will eventually pay your friend back, but in the meantime, the tab's on her. The best way to go about this is to order whatever it is you want while she's with you, pat your body frantically in search of your non-existent wallet and wait for her to say she's got it.
7. You hate dates, but know you will starve without them
This is more so for the ladies out there. You know that guy who has been nagging you for a date? Well, rent week is the perfect time to take him up on his offer, just so you can feed yourself. It's OK, he probably won't figure it out, and when he does, it'll be too late and you'll be long gone by then.
8. You go to department store make-up counters to do your makeup because you can't afford your own
If you say you've never done this, you are a liar.
Desperate times. Source: Getty Images
9. You shower at the gym so you don't have to increase your water bill
The fact that you can still afford your gym membership is a miracle, so why not take advantage of the included showers? You are already paying to be there, you might as well milk it for all it's worth.
10. You don't turn on your heat or air conditioning … ever
If you're overly hot, you get naked; if you're freezing, you pile on the blankets and layers. There is no other option, at least not one you can afford.
11. You eat your housemates' food while they're sleeping
This is a terrible way to have karma bite you in the arse, but sometimes you are just really hungry and don't have a choice.
12. You throw a party just so people leave booze behind
How else are you supposed to sustain your drinking habits? Plus, all your friends will think you are being oh-so-nice and won't even think twice before leaving their bottles behind.
She better not drink that whole bottle. Source: Getty Images
13. You tell people you're fasting so they don't know you can't actually afford food
You know you've hit an all-time low when you actually have to admit to people you can't afford food, so I guess this is the next best option …?
14. You sit at the bar empty-handed until 12am when your direct deposit hits
… And then it's drinks for everyone! You haven't been out for two solid weeks; payday is basically the equivalent of your birthday.
This is an edited version of an article written by Ashley Fern from Elite Daily, and was legally licensed through the NewsCred publisher network.
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