Has social media changed dating for the better? Source: Getty Images
MISERY loves company. All's fair in love and war. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
You've probably heard these before, because over the decades cautious words and clichéd phrases have guided our mothers, and their mothers, through romantic courtship.
Now, thanks to the introduction of social media, the wealth of indispensable wisdom has grown to accommodate our technological future with new advice. It's not official until it's "Facebook official". Snapchats can be screenshot. No-one ever likes the 'mirror pic' guy on Tinder.
When our grandparents started dating, there was no social media to blur the lines. They didn't wonder when was an appropriate time to ask a new suitor to delete their Tinder account. They didn't need to worry about the new set of digital dating rules that we face today.
Dating, when there's no social media to blur the lines. Source: Supplied
Some argue that social media has changed dating for the better. We're now connected in ways that years ago, were unimaginable. We can source potential dates while sitting on the living room couch with unwashed hair and a lap full of chip crumbs. Others argue the less attractive additions that social media has brought to the table: the 'gamification' of dating, the death of social serendipity, or the rate at which we're heading towards customs defined by superficiality and instant gratification.
When I was lucky enough to be involved in the first-ever test group for Facebook (which is what inspired me to start L&A Social Media), the extent to which social media would change the way we engage could not have been predicted. But today there is no denying that these changes are occurring rapidly and they're nothing short of drastic, as the gap between digital and physical courtship is well and truly closing.
Gina Lednyak. Source: Supplied
Here some of the ways in which dating is forever changing, for better or for worse:
1. Next level competition
Whether you like it or not, social media has created a dating pool that knows no boundaries. Literally. The dating pool has become infinite. And with more options, comes more competition.
Gone are the days when you met a guy at a party and found comfort in the fact that he probably wouldn't be attending any more parties until the next weekend. Now, in the days following your fated meeting he has potentially connected with 20 plus suitors on Tinder.
On the flip side though, the dating pool has become considerably larger for you too. And this, I think most would agree, is one of the greatest perks that social media has brought to the world of millennial dating.
2. The future of zero guesswork
According to research, we can recognise when someone isn't into us about 80 per cent of the time. No surprises, as most of us are pretty good at detecting when we're being shot down. It usually involves watching someone's eyes glaze over while they check their phone for imaginary texts before sculling an entire vodka apple-juice just so they have an excuse to exit for the bar.
When it comes to sensing when someone is flirting with us however, researchers from the University of Kansas say we're pretty hopeless. In fact, according to their study, men could only determine if someone was admiring them 36 per cent of the time, and women could only tell 18 per cent of the time.
So it's safe to say that most of us have probably missed out on more than few opportunities to close at the bar. Enter Tinder. The dating app completely eliminates any of the conjecture and speculation involved with traditional dating. In fact the pre-existing guesswork been reduced to a solitary swipe; left for no, right for yes. Thanks to apps like Tinder, we now know, instantaneously mind you, who is or isn't interested in us.
Thanks, Tinder. Source: TheAustralian
3. Background checks
No matter how much we think we like somebody, the minute we take to their online profile can quite literally be a game-changer. It only takes a single shirtless selfie, for instance, and the mission is aborted. Our attraction plunges, the next date is called off and we end up asking ourselves what in the world we were thinking. Some would argue that this is a bad thing. Does it take all of the fun out of dating? Perhaps some of us have even thrown away the person we were destined to be with, in a few short clicks?
It could be argued however, that it's a blessing in disguise. While writing someone off because of one photo shouldn't be condoned, there's no denying that social media can now help us learn a lot more about someone much quicker. And this means we can skip the 5 dates to find out we actually had absolutely nothing in common in the first place.
4. Jealousy is a dangerous thing
For some of us, the temptation to sift through the profiles of our current partners exes is one that cannot be overcome. Luckily, no matter how private someone tries to make their profile, it's usually possible to find something. And thanks to social media there is no generation more efficient when it comes to private investigation than Gen Y.
These days, you only need to log onto Facebook or Instagram and you can stalk someone's exes from the most recent relationship back to their first kiss at the Grade 8 school dance. But what if seeing them smiling and having a great coupled-up time together in photos begins to haunt you? You start wondering if they really have moved on, or if they even love you as much, and you've effectively opened the ex-floodgates forever.
Adding to this, nothing has added a layer of complexity to dating the way Likes, Comments and Pokes have. Trivial, you say? Not according to the many relationships that have been ruined by Facebook. Owing to the ease with which one can see who their partner is connecting with, or whose photos they like or comment on, Facebook-induced-paranoia is actually a thing.
That selfie could be a massive turn off ... Source: Supplied
5. Digital infidelity
Before the world of dating apps, when someone's impulse to cheat on their significant other was strong enough to act on, they'd have to go out into the real world and physically meet another party willing to participate. But things have changed. Finding someone to get it on with no longer means putting on clothes, fixing your hair and heading out to a bar; thanks to social media, a world of potential hook ups is at your finger tips. And sure, Snapchat has made sending dirty pictures much easier to get away with. And of course nobody is required to reveal their actual relationship status on a Tinder profile.
But social media also brings with it another challenge; secrecy. These days everyone has a phone and staying off social media after leaving the house has become a difficult feat. Thanks to social media, getting busted by an indiscreet photo or slip up on Instagram or Facebook has made it a lot harder to be a slimy cheater.
Are you sure you want to Snapchat that? Source: Supplied
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