Mummy tribes: Which one are you?

WHILE their stroller choice, coffee order and position on controversial issues such as leggings-as-pants may divide them, the new breed of mummy tribes are united by two things: love for their children and utterly bone-crushing exhaustion.

Happy Mother's Day to them all.

The Leaner-Inners

Celebrity Mum: Sheryl Sandberg

Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. Photo: Chris Ratcliffe Source: Supplied

The world went into paroxysm when Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg said women should "lean in" to their professional lives and "lean out" of their personal lives – and not use motherhood as an excuse for the glass ceiling. The captain-ettes of industry are too busy chairing calls with the Tokyo office to get bogged down in snoozy debates about work/life balance. And until the boys in the office play the nit card when they come in late, she won't, either.

Catchphrase: "Have it on my desk by Monday," to her five-year-old, regarding solar system project.

Key Accessories: Work mobile, private mobile, Spanish nanny, well-concealed under-eye circles

The Lululemums

Celebrity Mum: Reese Witherspoon

Actress Reese Witherspoon with her daughter Ava Phillipe and son Deacon Phillipe on The Hollywood Walk of Fame in Hollywood, California. Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Source: Getty Images

This permanently Lycra-clad mama knows parenting is the ultimate high-intensity endurance challenge, so she might as well dress for it.

Chasing a runaway toddler through Westfield is that bit easier in Adidas by Stella McCartney trainers, and were a spontaneous Pilates session to break out in the deli section of Woolworths, they'd be ready to drop and roll right into tabletop.

Even if vacuuming counts as cardio, there's still something to be said for a high-performance housework outfit with moisture-wicking capability.

Catchphrase: "Gotta run, ladies." Literally.

Key Accessories: Jawbone bracelet, Kleen Kanteen

The WAG-a-Mamas

Celebrity Mum: Victoria Beckham

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM - DECEMBER 01: (L-R) Romeo Beckham, David Beckham, Cruz Beckham, Brooklyn Beckham and Victoria Beckham attend the World premiere of "The Class of 92" at Odeon West End on December 1, 2013 in London, England. (Photo by Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images) Source: Getty Images

"Just because I'm having a baby, doesn't mean I'm going to let myself go," we all said, before totally letting ourselves go. But the hyper-groomed WAG-a-mama really didn't. Nobody knows how she managed to get back into her leather skinnies 15 minutes after giving birth, or how she keeps her hair extensions entirely rusk-free.

Her husband might be a sporting icon, but compared to the skill involved with doing a big shop in four-inch heels, balancing a baby on one hip and a Birkin on the other, winning the odd World Cup is no biggie.

Catchphrase: "They're real." Referring to both her Loubs and, er…

Key Accessory: The baby

The Instamamas

Celebrity Mum: Julia Restoin-Roitfield

While our children can't be coaxed out of their favourite Peppa Pig pyjamas (or, indeed, us out of our own sweatpants) for a single socialmedia- worthy snap, Instamamas and their beautiful babies are always ready for their close-up. Daily uploads from clever, creative mothers such as @ohjoy and @theglowdotcom are a parade of almost unfeasible sweetness, from the just-woke-up cuddle in bed to the final reading of Goodnight Moon on what looks like – damn, why doesn't Insta let you zoom? – a perfectly aged vintage Chesterfield (with coordinating puppy left of shot). Like. Like. Like.

Catchphrase: #mybabyBFF

Key Accessory: iPhone 5

Son Worshippers

Celebrity Mum: Cate Blanchett

Cate Blanchett and her son Roman arrive at the 2012 Helpmann Awards. Photo: Lisa Maree Williams Source: Getty Images

Some women spend the days leading up to their 20-week scan wishing for a girl, but Son Worshippers know the real prize is a gaggle of tow-headed boys. They're funny, affectionate and,

best of all, they'll never grow up into fresh-faced teenage daughters who make you look utterly haggard by comparison. Still, raising boys is a high calling; wearing them out requires more ball-kicking, tree-climbing and lightsabre battling than a mother of girls could ever imagine. Their life soundtrack: a basketball banging against the garage door.

C atchphrase: "Ow! Oscar, come pick up this Lego."

Key Accessory: A car boot fullof sports equipment

Thermominxes

Celebrity Mum: Louise Fulton Keats

Cookbook author and food writer Louise Fulton Keats with her son. Source: Supplied

We thought that mum from school was just being friendly when she invited us over for (the admittedly unusual combination of) soup, hummus, bolognaise and gelato, but once we'd been ushered into her kitchen and saw it there, gleaming and silver on the counter top, we realised our lives were about to be changed.

She's a Thermominx, one of a growing tribe of mothers devoted to the $2000 kitchen appliance – which lets them whip up a casserole in the time it takes us to tear open a Lean Cuisine with our teeth.

Catchphrase: "Thirty seconds and I've got soup for a year…"

Key Accessories: Tupperware containers, second freezer

Beachmums

Celebrity Mum: Sarah Buckley

Mother and baby playing on the beach Source: Supplied

Since she discovered surfng, the Beachmum's life has completely changed. Being so close to nature, the adrenalin, the fact she can't hear her children whinging from the backyard?

There's nothing like it, and she can't imagine anything better than a session with her local surfangels.com.au crew. What it does for a woman's abs isn't bad, either.

Over a post-session chai, the suburban surf-squad plan their next girls-only surf and yoga

retreat to Bali.

Catchphrase: "I've got a ton of errands, but the sandbars have been going off."

Key Accessories: Wetsuit tan, sand in her uggs

The Young and the Hotness

Celebrity Mum: Jemima Kirke

Girls producer Lena Dunham with Jemima Kirke, who plays Jessa on the hit HBO series. Photo: Frederick M. Brown Source: Getty Images

The average age of frst-time mothers might be climbing towards the thirties, but not for the baby

babymama, who's popped out her frst before paying off her HECS. Energetic and happily married, putting her career as a model-slashartist-slash-slashie on temporary hold for the babies is a no-brainer: by the time they're at school, she still won't be 30. And if she gets bored in the mean time, she can always knock out a cycle of ANTM. Whatever.

Catchphrase: "I don't know; the baby weight just kind of came off?"

Key Accessories: Skinnier-thanskinny jeans, crop tee revealing completely unscarred abs

Earth Mothers 2.0

Celebrity Mum: Jools Oliver

Celebrity Chef Jamie Oliver with his wife Jools. Photo: Ian Gavan. Source: Getty Images

Do you know how expensive it is to keep chickens in the inner city?

To be an all-baking, all-crafting, Montessori-ing Earth Mother 2.0 costs serious coin – a high-powered husband to bankroll the $9 organic blueberries helps – and living a simple life is almost diabolically complex.

It might look like a domestic idyll from the outside, but so much free-range living requires a level of mental precision that makes the modern boho mother grateful for her past life as a corporate lawyer.

Catchphrase: "We don't really do schedules," while mentally scrolling through her watertight schedule.